Theroretem: The Only Terranigma Fanfic You'll Ever Have To Read By Dais Of Our Lives Inspired By Other ______________ Narrator: So, can we start now? Dais: No! Narrator: Hmmmph. Iwannagohometabed. Dais: NO!!! Narrator: Okay... Dais: Just wait here. (Poof) Cherubae: What's going on? Dais: (Irritated) We're going to steal your pictures. (Bad move) Cherubae: YAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! (Well, you know how she reacts by now) Dais: Ow! Smart man, just -ow!- freaking smart-ow!-. Turbo: Blarg arg ftarg. (Yes, he cometh forth mightily, yea, mightily) Cherubae: (Stopping whatever violent act she is undertaking) Ooo! Turbo! (Proceeds to fall on knees and worship Turbo) Narrator: Um, Dais? Dais: (Tending wounds) Yeah? Narrator: Sure this isn't that pan person? Dais: Oh, shut up. Narrator: Can we start now? Dais: Welllllllll...... Narrator: Pleassssseeeee? Dais: Okay..... Narrator: Finally! (Click. Hummmm. Tinny sounds. Cherubae turns around) Cherubae: Okay, no kidding. What the hell are you doing? Narrator: It's a secret. Dais: No, it's not. Narrator: Yes, it is. Dais: No, it's not. Narrator: Yes, it is. Dais: No, it's not. Narrator: Yes, it is. Dais: No, it's not. Narrator: Yes, it is. Dais: It's multiplmmmfmmfmmf. Narrator: He was frothing. I'm just cleaning his mouth. Dais: Mmmm! Mmfmmmfmmf! Narrator: Nasty choppers you got in here. Dais: Mmm! Mmmf! (Crunch.) Narrator: F***! Dais: Ptooie! Echhh.... Cherubae: Er......Multiplmmmf? Narrator: Owowowowowow.... Dais: Multiplayer Terranigma! (Gongs, cymbals, clapping. Banners unfold, and a red carpet rolls out. A little crown appears on Turbo's head) Turbo: Blarg! Dais: Uh, yeah. Narrator: Owowowowow....aaah! Infection! Infection! (Runs off) Cherubae: That sounds fun. Dais: Not really. Infected gashes can get really nasty. Cherubae: I mean the multiplayer aspect thingy. Dais: Join me, will you? On a stroll down Memory Lane..... Cherubae: Huh? (Dais whips out a funky looking Snes. Or is it two? Whatever it is, it doesn't look healthy) Cherubae: That's it? Dais: Uh-huh. (Plugs it in. Whips out the Magical Big screen Of Wonder. Plugs that in. Grabs a controller. So does Cherubae.) Game: Terranigma, Multiplayer Version. Cherubae: Gotta hand it to you, Dais. This could be- Game: Only two people are hooked up. This can support three. Get a friend, A-holes. Cherubae: Seems to have a few problems, though. Dais: Not my fault. Snape! (Poof! (Provided for the hearing impaired)) Snape: Hmm? Cherubae: YAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Snape: Oh fu- (WHACK!) Dais: Whoops. Snape: Owww... Dais: Um. Snape? Snape: Yeah? Dais: Can you play, with your head separated from the body like that? Snape: Sure. Just prop right me right up, so I can see the screen. Cherubae: Hehehehehehehehe. Game: This the best you can find? This pansy? Dais: (Adjusting Snape) There you go...Hey, Cherubae. What'd it say? Cherubae: Nothing. Nothing at all. Hehehehe. Dais: Bloody idiots. Game: So do you jerks want to start, or what? Snape: Dais, when you told me had made a multiplayer version... Dais: Turbo's been messing with the code, I swear! Turbo: Yartuhjuoipertrg. Snape: SPLODGE! (Splodge descends from heaven, with a flaming swo- er, muzzle) Splodge: WOOF. (The sound moves violently towards Turbo, hits him, and rips the flesh and blood off him. A little Turbo skeleton stands there now, looking depressed) Dais: Oh, hell. Now he'll bury himself... Game: Are you guys going to play? Cherubae: Shut up. I just want my pictures. Game: Yeah, well, I got your pictures right here, lady. Cherubae: YAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Dais: NOOOOOOO!!!! (I'm not going to describe this. It's not a pretty sight. Imagine going up against Bloody Mary without weapons or armor. Times a hundred. Hell hath no fury...) Cherubae: Gasp...pant... Dais: Uh, Cherubae? Cherubae: It...didn't have....my pictures.....WAAAAHHHH!!!!! Dais: Um. Game: Whimper... Dais: Now look what you did! Cherubae: Waaaa! My pictures! Waaaahhhhh! Snape: I'm a head and I'm okay, I sleep night long and I- Dais: SHUT UP! (Glare) Dais: Bloody bloody bloody idiots! Cherubae/Snape/Turbo/Splodge/Game: Hmmmph. Dais: Can we play the freaking game? Cherubae: Yes. Snape: Uh-uh. @pan: Si. Dais: GO AWAY! @pan: Eeeep! (Scurries away) Dais: Finally. Game: Three players. Okay, people. Whaddayouwannado? Dais: Huh? Cherubae: Hmmm. I know! Lets fight Bloody Mary! Snape: Why? Dais: Wait a second! Cherubae: We three are going to teach her a lesson. Hehe. Snape: Hehehehehehehe. Dais: But the games not supp- Cherubae: Shut up, person man. Game: Fighting- Boody Maries. Cherubae: Maries? How can that be? Dais: I tried to tell you. You shouldn't be able to- (Onscreen: Three figures appear. Dais is Ark, Cherubae is....er...Ark, and Snape is...um...uh...Ark. Bizarre) Dais: It works! Cherubae: I want to look different! Snape: And I want to be the only Ark! Dais: Okay, okay. I just have to push this button.... (Onscreen: Snape's Ark remains, Cherubae's turns into Fyda, and Dais becomes Louis) Dais: What the hell? Cherubae/Snape: Hehehe... Cherubae: Drunk! Snape: Lush! Dais: Dammit, Turbo! Game: Duh duh dey duh duh da duh duh.. Snape: Hey! It's starting! * (Afterwards) * Cherubae: Was...there...supposed..to be...twenty? Snape: Uhhhh.... Dais: Not my fault. (Onscreen: Three mildly different colored corpses litter the ground. Fifteen-or-so clones of Bloody Mary fly overhead.) Snape: That hurt.... Dais: Well, maybe it was just inefficent use of resources... Cherubae: We had Cryspears and Rags! Snape: No bulbs! Cherubae: Or magirock! Snape: Level 1 characters! Dais: Turbo's been messing with the code. Cherubae: (Sigh) Face it, Dais. The worlds not ready for Multiplayer Terranimga. Dais: Yes it is. Cherubae: No it isn't. Snape: I'm a head, and I'm o-kaaaaayyyyyy.... Splodge: WOOF! Turbo: (Ghostly moan) Harg blarg tryrg. @pan: Yay! Narrator: Killllll! Game: Kuppa de koo... Cherubae: My pictures.....ohhhh... Dais: Will you all SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Glare) *THE END*