Dark Gaia's diary (funny version)

Author : BeamCauldron

Well, another time, another fanfic. Also, I "will" be doing another version of this...a serious version...no, really! I mean it! While you're waiting for the serious version. Enjoy the funny (I hope) one first!

Chapter 1, The Awakening (I took the chapters of the game, ain't I lazy?)

My Diary

by well...me! Dark Gaia! Who d'ya think wrote this? The tooth fairy? (Although I would like to have a piece of her! hmmm...roasted fairy!)

Today, I destroyed some things with fire, kill others with plague and stuff. Oh yeah, just to make different, I started a small village, with evil replicas of some mortals up there. I hope ol' brother Light'll mind, I can't wait to see what he'll send against me THIS time. A sissy, maybe? BWAHAHAHA!!!! A sissy...gotta keep that for when I give my orders to my minions...Sissy! HAHAHA!!!

Everything's going as well in my underground village, they're stupid, and I'm happy! That's all that matters! Yeah, and some guy named Ark was born, I really like his hairdo, I wish I had hair! Oh wait! *Makes hair appear, an afro appears on the head of First DG* Crap! Now I know why I don't have hair! *Snaps his fingers, hair dissolves*

Well, my walking hairdo, Ark has grown into a full-fledged mortal now! Maybe he'll get funkier, I'd like to see that! I'm gonna brag to goodie-two-shoes Lighter (Yep, I give my brother a nickname) about the funkiest hairdo on Earth. Yeah, also say that he's ugly too...

Well, I putted a Pandora's box into my village, therefore making it more stupid and pointless,I like it that way...now what?

*2 hours later*

YES!! My trap worked, some stupid guys opened that damn door! Now they're all frozen, now to take their souls, that'll make someone to talk to. Well, wait...yes! Another one'll walk right into the trap, what? He can't open the door? Cmon, even a mortal like him can open a door. He trys to break it now! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That'll never work! It cannot be broken!! *Ark breaks the door* WHAT?!?!? How could he do that?!?!?!? Wait...I'll go check my recipe...

Recipe for unbreakable trap door

-Magirock
-God spell
-Charm of invulnerability
-Butter

Doh! I forgot the butter. No, wait! I didn't forget, I just had some toasts in the toaster and needed some butter for them! That's what happened! And now he freed that godamn floating bat Yomi...talk about a bad day! Also, he destroyed everything before I could do it myself! He's gonna be sorry, *snaps fingers* He'll be sorry, if those monsters don't kill him, nothing will!

What's happening to me? Ark bested everything, it was supposed to be extra-hard monsters! *Goes to see warranty of spell, it's still there* *Calls the international spell network* Yeah? Your monster conjuring spell didn't work, I asked specifically that I had some extra-hard monsters...yeah, I'll wait...*waits for 5 hours*. Who am I? Dark Gaia! What?, my bank account crashed? you didn't get the payment? I'll go check...*Sees that he "made" 2 mil by investing in a company called DGco.* Oh crap, now I'll have the IRS after me, crap!

Now what happened, my shadowstalker was the best! He could have whipped my flashlight brother in 2 seconds! Apart from that, I ate a Kraft Dinner Sandwich, some things are better to not tamper with. And, I arranged my problems with the IRS, I banned them to an eternity of life with people who pay their taxes and have nothing "fishy" on their reports!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Now, to take care of Ark...

End of Chapter 1, rewind the cassete and put chapter 2 in the slot where you listen to cassetes (If you know what cassetes are)