The Birth of Cabus

-=Hmmm is this one of those maternity videos? If it is I don't think I wanna watch this...

By Cabusginifrobo

Narrator: It was a normal day in Crysta until...
Ark: What a beautiful morning! I don't think I'll ever be mischievous ag..

-=We start out with Ark saying he's never gonna be mischievous again. Well this isn't gonna suck.

*A giant potato falls in his head*
Ark: OUCH! What the.... What exactly are you?

-=Ark fails to recognize a potato.

Cabus: What? I'm a POTATO??? This is so not fair! How come Yomi get to be the cool bat thingy and I....

-=Probably because Yomi didn't write a ridiculous fanfic.

Ark: Hello?
Cabus: This is al Gaia's doing!!! If I find that stupid b...

-=Al Gaia? You mean the guy from across the street from my house who sits on his porch all day with a beer balanced on his stomach and yells at me and calls me "ya dirty 'possum" when I go out?

*Lightining strikes its head*

-=Lightining?

Ark: WHY DID YOU FALL ON ME???
Cabus: Oh, sorry... At least I'm in Crysta!!!

-=Unfortunately.

Ark: WOULD YOU STOP BABBLING!!!!!
Cabus: Oh, okay... Um...
Cabus: ...
Ark: ....
Cabus: ...

-=Those last three quotes were just the best on this fanfic.

Ark: So, um, where ya from?
Cabus: Sorry, I can't answer...
Ark: How come?

-=Cabus: My two brain cells, Humpty and Dumpty, just committed suicide.

Cabus: These sorts of questions can only be answered with a flashback!! Duh!!!

***Begin flashback***
Narrator: One day, Cabus was playing Terranigma when he had an idea..
Cabus: Hey, maybe I can go in the computer and meet all the big guys like Ark and Perel! All I need is...

-=Perel, a big guy? *shakes head* What was I thinking...?

*Checks Galinstar's "Mushy and Pink" fanfic*
Cabus: A rubber donkey... Check! A bag of almonds... Check! An inflatable Meilin doll... Damn...

***
Narrator: The same day...
Cabus: Hi, do you have Meilin dolls?

-=Clerk: Yeah, we keep 'em in the back with the manure, Pokémon stuff and copies of this fanfic.

Store Clerk: No, but we have Meila From Astarica dolls...
Cabus: Good enough, I'll take one...
Store Clerk: That'll be 98 cents.
Cabus: Oh great, I have 97... I'll be back...

*Walks back home*
*Walks back to the store*
Cabus: Here, 98 cents...
Clerk: Sorry, we're out of Meila dolls.

-=Flamer just bought the last one. And a copy of this fanfic. And a load of manure. Which technically, is the same.

*Cabus faints*
Clerk: Oh, the Meilin dolls arrived!
*Cabus wakes up*
Cabus: HORRAY!!! I'll take one!
Clerk: Okay, that'll be 99 cents..
Cabus: (Very angry) I'll be right back.....
*Walks back home*
*Walks back to the store to find it closed*
*Walks back home*

-=THE END!

Narrator: The next morning...

*Walks back to the store*
Clerk: Good morning!
Cabus: Yeah, yeah... Get me one of those Meilin dolls, would ya?!

Clerk: Sorry, we're out.
Cabus: WHAT!? WHAT ABOUT THOSE!?
Clerk: I'm sorry, I'm saving those for a guy who came here twice looking for them...
Cabus: THAT WAS ME!!!!
Clerk: No it wasn't! That guy was wearing a red hat!
Cabus: DUH! I CHANGED MY HAT!!!!!
Clerk: You're not gonna get anything from me with that attitude, mister!

-=Now be gone, before someone drops a house on YOU.

Cabus: AIARRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!
*Chokes clerk, gets doll and runs home*
Cabus: Okay, what did that fanfic say again??
*Tries to connect to the internet*
*Phone is occupied*
*Hears a knock at the door*
Cabus: What the...
*Looks through peephole*
*Sees the police*
Policeman: Open up, we know you killed that clerk... Hello? Helloooo?

-=Policemen are so polite these days.

Cabus: Connect, dammit!
*Phone connects, making a screeching sound*
Policeman: Open up or we'll bust this door!

-=Do it! Do it!

Cabus: Come on, come on...
*Reads fanfic*
*Put the objects in order*
*Enters the computer screen*
***End of flashback***

Cabus: And that's how I got here...
Ark: And why are you a potato?
Cabus: Duh... Everybody who comes into a videogame or a cartoon turns into something different...

-=That's YOUR theory.

Ark:I didn't!
Cabus: YOU WERE BORN IN HERE!
*Three dingos fall in his head*

-=At the time, I thought "dingo" was a funny word. Heh heh heh, "dingo"...

Cabus: What the...
Ark: Now you know how it feels...
Dingo #1: Freeze!
Cabus: Oh no, it's the policemen! How come THEY get to be dingos and I'M just a stupid potato!?
Ark: Run, they have sausages!

-=Now SAUSAGES is a funny word.

Cabus: So!?
Ark: AAARGH!!!
*Pushes Cabus in the river then jumps in*
Dingo #2: We'll get you!!!
*River's current takes Ark and Cabus*
Ark: Hey, we're leaving the village!
Cabus: And we didn't even find Yomi!
Ark: Who's Yomi?
Cabus: Never mind, look at THAT!
*Sees river ends joining a lava flow*
Ark and Cabus: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
-------------------------------------

Look out for Chapter 2 later!

-=Yeah, I'll look out for it. I'll also AVOID it.

Visit my under construction page at www.gold.com.br/~areskagg/index.html

-=Not if it's as good as this fic.