Ark is lying in a small quaint town. He has been unconscious for days. Finally, his eyes open.

Ark: Where am I? How long have I been asleep? How much time has passed? How…

Cojiro: Okay, before we get into that whole spool, let's cut the chitchat and get with the program. Ark! Let me explain why you are here. When you defeated Dark Gaia, you were supposed to be sent to Crysta so you could sleep your last dream, but...

Ark: Don't you mean dream your last dream?

Cojiro: < sigh > Yes, fine. Okay. But instead of being sent there, the powers that be got the towns mixed up, and you were sent to the place that looked exactly like Crysta above ground.

(Ark gets up and walks forward, smiling)

Ark: Aha! You mean I'm in Storkolm! This is great! I can really sock it to those Mosque losers in style from here.

Cojiro: (flicking through script) Oops! Sorry, that should have been town that looked exactly unlike Crysta. Welcome to Mosque!

(Angry villagers surround Ark, kicking him)

Cojiro: Let's get outta here!

(Ark and Cojiro walk into the darkness)

(Cojiro is sitting on a stool)

Cojiro: It seems that Ark went to the one place I'd rather he didn't go. We are now in Loire, a town ruled by… Dais!

Dais: WAAAHAAAHAA! I rule this town with an iron fist! Now I can really clean up the message board!

(Dais rolls his chair over to the computer)

Dais: Hehe! ElBobo shouldn't be so stupid! I think I'll tell him off! You! Pitiful servants! Get over here!

Meilin: Excuse me, Sir Dais. But I have only this one pair of tattered rags left, and my dog has no food. What shall I do?

Dais: Hmmm… Meilin = food for dog. Dog = clothes for Meilin. So many choices…

T-Freak: Master, I have a poor boy going by the name of Ark to see you.

Dais: Excellent! Send him in!

(Ark walks in)

Ark: Hey, where's that guy I voted for? You know, that bloke. The one who liked serving the people.

(He sees Dais with a crown and robe, sitting on a throne)

Ark: Oh.

Dais: How dare you mention his name in my presence! I sentence you to death by poison!

Ark: Gee, I have plenty of P. Cure's. I'll be fine.

(Dais looks depleted)

Ark: (Seeing Message Board) What the? Why is Dais making fun of all these people? This isn't right… Let's see. Dais with crown. Being mean. Torturing people. I know! I'll write an e-mail to Cherubae!

(Inside Cher's house)

Cherubae: That completes my 5000 page report on the damaging effect that L. Bulbs have on you.

Screen: You've got mail!

Cherubae: Wow! This is exciting! Let's see what this is… what! Dais being mean? Ark being in Loire? Dais being in Loire? Loire being inside a Super Nintendo game? Oh… my head… I feel sick… (Cherubae faints)

(Inside Dais's mansion in Loire)

Cojiro: Quickly, Ark! This can't be the real Dais! We need a test to see if it is him!

Ark: …I've got it! Dais! What happens on November 30^th?

Dais: I'll tell you right now, without any cryptic clues or anything. On Novemeber 30^th, the world will…

Ark: No time for that! This isn't the real Dais! Let's get him!

(Cojiro and Ark punch up fake Dais)

Fake Dais: Noooo! My machine! Noooooooooooo! Help me… < dies >

Ark: Phew! Now where's the real Dais?

(They hear a knock from somewhere)

Cojiro: That must be him! I'll go and find him.

(Ark turns to Meilin)

Ark: Meilin, are you wearing your dog Turbo?

Meilin: It was either that or die. What would you have chosen?

Ark: Well….

(Ark is interupted by Cojiro and the real Dais)

Dais: Thank you Ark and Cojiro. That imposter was actually he Cheese! He took over my screen name and used it to turn the message board against me! But now everything's back to normal. What shall we do now?

(Everyone shrugs, then walks off into the darkness)

Cojiro: Well, that concludes Episode 1: The Phantom Dais. What crazy and badly written adventures will Ark encounter next? Only time will tell… goodbye!