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Theroretem: The Only Terranigma Fanfic You'll Ever Have To Read
By Dais Of Our Lives
Inspired By Other
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Narrator: So, can we start now?
Dais: No!
Narrator: Hmmmph. Iwannagohometabed.
Dais: NO!!!
Narrator: Okay...
Dais: Just wait here.
(Poof)
Cherubae: What's going on?
Dais: (Irritated) We're going to steal your pictures.
(Bad move)
Cherubae: YAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!
(Well, you know how she reacts by now)
Dais: Ow! Smart man, just -ow!- freaking smart-ow!-.
Turbo: Blarg arg ftarg.
(Yes, he cometh forth mightily, yea, mightily)
Cherubae: (Stopping whatever violent act she is undertaking) Ooo! Turbo!
(Proceeds to fall on knees and worship Turbo)
Narrator: Um, Dais?
Dais: (Tending wounds) Yeah?
Narrator: Sure this isn't that pan person?
Dais: Oh, shut up.
Narrator: Can we start now?
Dais: Welllllllll......
Narrator: Pleassssseeeee?
Dais: Okay.....
Narrator: Finally!
(Click. Hummmm. Tinny sounds. Cherubae turns around)
Cherubae: Okay, no kidding. What the hell are you doing?
Narrator: It's a secret.
Dais: No, it's not.
Narrator: Yes, it is.
Dais: No, it's not.
Narrator: Yes, it is.
Dais: No, it's not.
Narrator: Yes, it is.
Dais: No, it's not.
Narrator: Yes, it is.
Dais: It's multiplmmmfmmfmmf.
Narrator: He was frothing. I'm just cleaning his mouth.
Dais: Mmmm! Mmfmmmfmmf!
Narrator: Nasty choppers you got in here.
Dais: Mmm! Mmmf!
(Crunch.)
Narrator: F***!
Dais: Ptooie! Echhh....
Cherubae: Er......Multiplmmmf?
Narrator: Owowowowowow....
Dais: Multiplayer Terranigma!
(Gongs, cymbals, clapping. Banners unfold, and a red carpet rolls out.
A little crown appears on Turbo's head)
Turbo: Blarg!
Dais: Uh, yeah.
Narrator: Owowowowow....aaah! Infection! Infection!
(Runs off)
Cherubae: That sounds fun.
Dais: Not really. Infected gashes can get really nasty.
Cherubae: I mean the multiplayer aspect thingy.
Dais: Join me, will you? On a stroll down Memory Lane.....
Cherubae: Huh?
(Dais whips out a funky looking Snes. Or is it two? Whatever it is,
it doesn't look healthy)
Cherubae: That's it?
Dais: Uh-huh.
(Plugs it in. Whips out the Magical Big screen Of Wonder. Plugs that
in. Grabs a controller. So does Cherubae.)
Game: Terranigma, Multiplayer Version.
Cherubae: Gotta hand it to you, Dais. This could be-
Game: Only two people are hooked up. This can support three. Get a friend, A-holes.
Cherubae: Seems to have a few problems, though.
Dais: Not my fault. Snape!
(Poof! (Provided for the hearing impaired))
Snape: Hmm?
Cherubae: YAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Snape: Oh fu-
(WHACK!)
Dais: Whoops.
Snape: Owww...
Dais: Um. Snape?
Snape: Yeah?
Dais: Can you play, with your head separated from the body like that?
Snape: Sure. Just prop right me right up, so I can see the screen.
Cherubae: Hehehehehehehehe.
Game: This the best you can find? This pansy?
Dais: (Adjusting Snape) There you go...Hey, Cherubae. What'd it say?
Cherubae: Nothing. Nothing at all. Hehehehe.
Dais: Bloody idiots.
Game: So do you jerks want to start, or what?
Snape: Dais, when you told me had made a multiplayer version...
Dais: Turbo's been messing with the code, I swear!
Turbo: Yartuhjuoipertrg.
Snape: SPLODGE!
(Splodge descends from heaven, with a flaming swo- er, muzzle)
Splodge: WOOF.
(The sound moves violently towards Turbo, hits him, and rips the flesh and
blood off him. A little Turbo skeleton stands there now, looking depressed)
Dais: Oh, hell. Now he'll bury himself...
Game: Are you guys going to play?
Cherubae: Shut up. I just want my pictures.
Game: Yeah, well, I got your pictures right here, lady.
Cherubae: YAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Dais: NOOOOOOO!!!!
(I'm not going to describe this. It's not a pretty sight. Imagine going up
against Bloody Mary without weapons or armor. Times a hundred. Hell hath no fury...)
Cherubae: Gasp...pant...
Dais: Uh, Cherubae?
Cherubae: It...didn't have....my pictures.....WAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Dais: Um.
Game: Whimper...
Dais: Now look what you did!
Cherubae: Waaaa! My pictures! Waaaahhhhh!
Snape: I'm a head and I'm okay, I sleep night long and I-
Dais: SHUT UP!
(Glare)
Dais: Bloody bloody bloody idiots!
Cherubae/Snape/Turbo/Splodge/Game: Hmmmph.
Dais: Can we play the freaking game?
Cherubae: Yes.
Snape: Uh-uh.
@pan: Si.
Dais: GO AWAY!
@pan: Eeeep!
(Scurries away)
Dais: Finally.
Game: Three players. Okay, people. Whaddayouwannado?
Dais: Huh?
Cherubae: Hmmm. I know! Lets fight Bloody Mary!
Snape: Why?
Dais: Wait a second!
Cherubae: We three are going to teach her a lesson. Hehe.
Snape: Hehehehehehehe.
Dais: But the games not supp-
Cherubae: Shut up, person man.
Game: Fighting- Boody Maries.
Cherubae: Maries? How can that be?
Dais: I tried to tell you. You shouldn't be able to-
(Onscreen: Three figures appear. Dais is Ark, Cherubae is....er...Ark,
and Snape is...um...uh...Ark. Bizarre)
Dais: It works!
Cherubae: I want to look different!
Snape: And I want to be the only Ark!
Dais: Okay, okay. I just have to push this button....
(Onscreen: Snape's Ark remains, Cherubae's turns into Fyda, and Dais
becomes Louis)
Dais: What the hell?
Cherubae/Snape: Hehehe...
Cherubae: Drunk!
Snape: Lush!
Dais: Dammit, Turbo!
Game: Duh duh dey duh duh da duh duh..
Snape: Hey! It's starting!
*
(Afterwards)
*
Cherubae: Was...there...supposed..to be...twenty?
Snape: Uhhhh....
Dais: Not my fault.
(Onscreen: Three mildly different colored corpses litter the ground.
Fifteen-or-so clones of Bloody Mary fly overhead.)
Snape: That hurt....
Dais: Well, maybe it was just inefficent use of resources...
Cherubae: We had Cryspears and Rags!
Snape: No bulbs!
Cherubae: Or magirock!
Snape: Level 1 characters!
Dais: Turbo's been messing with the code.
Cherubae: (Sigh) Face it, Dais. The worlds not ready for Multiplayer Terranimga.
Dais: Yes it is.
Cherubae: No it isn't.
Snape: I'm a head, and I'm o-kaaaaayyyyyy....
Splodge: WOOF!
Turbo: (Ghostly moan) Harg blarg tryrg.
@pan: Yay!
Narrator: Killllll!
Game: Kuppa de koo...
Cherubae: My pictures.....ohhhh...
Dais: Will you all SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Glare)
*THE END*
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