Foreword: Since my first attempt at a fanfic was… err… well… maybe the crappiest fanfic ever written… I'm trying something more common. This isn't in the now reverred Dais-Style comic script. (Note: I'm very dissapointed with my rating from Elbobo. I would have preferred the Award Of What A Complete Piece of S**T Looks Like.) Anyway, on with the fanfic!

Chapter 1: Unleashed


The planet possessed two souls
An external face and an internal face
Lightside and Darkside
46 Billion years since the planet's birth
Growth and decline circle the two wills
At the will of Lightside, purple powder is invented
At the will of Darkside, weird sticky goo is invented
To neither of their wills, the powder and the goo are mixed together
Rapid solidification takes course
Lightside and Darkside tried to stop it
But alas, it was already too late
The "Thing" was unleashed on the world…
The "Thing" that would became known as… YOMI!!!

At first, Yomi seemed to be an inoffensive ball of purple goo… But as the centuries passed, the ball evolved. First, wings sprouted from it. Since it didn't have any eyes yet, flying into things was it's main activity for 3 Billion years. But it developped eyes. Small, piercing eyes… He had the ability to shoot lasers out of them, much like Super-Man. He also had the power to cause great earthquakes by shouting at the top of his lungs (Author's note: If anyone has any info on the anatomy of Yomi, e-mail me. Address is at end of text.) And as our story begins, we find Yomi flying around, while bugging Light Gaia.

***************

Somewhere in the universe…

-"Dammit Yomi! Leave me alone!", said Light Gaia.

-"Why? You don't like me? Is that it? You want me to go away? You will banish one of your own creations out of this world?", whined Yomi.

-"YES!"

-"Well, YOU CAN'T!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

-"Dammit…"

Yes, it was true. Light Gaia couldn't destroy, eleminate, exterminate, blow up, kill, crush, disintegrate, melt, or put an end to Yomi. That was because Yomi was a creation of both Light and Dark. And since Light Gaia and Dark Gaia both refused to work together, Yomi could run around pissing off everyone. But Yomi still was succeptible to the spells of both Gaias. Just not the ones that would hurt him really really bad.

-"You should get a hobby Yomi, instead of flying around me all day." Said Light Gaia to Yomi.

-"A hobby? Like what?" asked Yomi.

-"I dunno. Hey, wait! I DO know! Let's play a game of "Piss Off Dark Gaia"!

-"Cool, sounds fun. So, how do we play?"

-"Well, first you need a Dark Gaia, then you see who can piss him off the most. Why don't you go first. I'll stay here, so I don't copy your material."

-"Okay. I'll come back when I'm finished with him! Be prepared to lose!"

On these words, Yomi flies off into space searching for Dark Gaia.

-"Dumbass…" said Light Gaia to himself.

***************

In Dark Gaia's part of the universe…

-"Yes! I shall finally have my revenge on the puny Light Gaia! Creating Heaven to keep the lifeforms after their untimely death! Pfah! Then I shall create… HECK!!!!!!! No… that doesn't sound very good… Ah! I got it! It shall be known as HELL!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Yomi approaches DG.

-"Yo, Dark Gaia!"

-"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

-"Hey Dark Gaia! I'm talking to you!"

-"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"

-"DAMMIT! LISTEN TO ME YOU DAMN IDIOT!!!"

-" BWAHAha! Huh? What? Aw dammit, it's you."

-"Yeah, it's me! Aren't you glad I'm here?" Yomi flaps his eyelashes at him.

-"Go away, I'm occupied."

-"Doing what?"

-"Creating… HELL!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

-"STOP THAT!"

-"Anyway, what the… HELL… do you want?" said DG, snickering as he said HELL.

-"I'm here to piss you off!"

-"You won't be able to piss me off!"

-"Oh yeah? And why is that?"

-"'Cause I'm in a… HELL… of a good mood!"

-"What is this… HELL… you're talking about?"

-"You wanna know about… HELL…?"

-"Yeah. Tell me about… HELL…"

-"…HELL… is a magical place where evil lifeforms are sent to be tortured for eternity!"

-"Umm… sounds painful. Can I see it?"

-"Maybe later. It's not finished yet"

-"Aww, come on!"

-"If I do, will you leave me alone?"

-"Uh… well…" said Yomi, thinking about it. "Fine, I'll leave you alone if you show it to me."

-"Follow me then…"

Yomi follows Dark Gaia to a damp, dark cave.

-"This is it?" asked Yomi.

-"Wait a minute, I didn't flip the light switch yet."

As Dark Gaia flips the switch, a spectacular show of fire, continuous explosions, dripping lava and small volcanoes appears before Yomi's eyes. Standing on the highest cliff, the hot air surrounds them.

-"Woo… kinda hot, isn't it… You wouldn't have any ice cream near here, would you?"

-"Ice Cream? It's too cozy in here to have ice cream!"

-"Well, if you call THIS cozy… I don't want to see your room…"

-"Well, leave me alone now. We have a deal. Why don't you go play one of your stupid games."

At this instant, Yomi remembered the game and pushed Dark Gaia down the cliff.

-"What the… HELL… are you doinggggggg…

-"HEY! CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

-"I WANNA ASK YOU A QUESTION!"

-"ARE YOU PISSED?"

-"I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES! SEE YA!"

***************

Back at Light Gaia's part of the universe…

-"Well, I'll be free of Yomi for a couple more hours!" said Light Gaia to himself.

-"Hey! I'm back!" shouted Yomi.

-"Already?!? S**T!"

-"There's no way you can beat me!!!"

-"I pity Dark Gaia… what did you do to him?"

-"Pushed him down a cliff into a pit full of fire and lava and stuff."

-"Well… waddaya intend to do now?"

-"I dunno. That's why I came to you."

-"Why me?!?!"

-"Dark Gaia is in the bottom of a pit, remember?"

-"Oh… right… Well, why don't you go dance."

-"Dance? What kinda stupid idea is that?"

-"Well, I'll force you to dance then!"

-"Wha? HEY! WAIT!"

Light Gaia makes a gesture, and Yomi starts to shake his booty incontrolably

-"Make… it… stop!!!"

-"Nope! Hehe."

-"Aw dammit!!!"

-"Let's see… How about dancing for a billion years?"

-"You… son… of… a…"

-"Nonono… no bad language anymore. You have to learn to be good before I remove the spell!"

-"AW CRA… I… mean… remove… the… spell… Light… Gaia… pretty… please…"

-"Nope" said Light Gaia with a big grin.

-"Fine then… I'll super-glue myself to you!"

At that same moment, Dark Gaia, who got out of the pit, shoots a bolt of energy at Yomi. Unfortunately, the bolt hit the tube of super-glue that came out of who-knows-where and that Yomi was holding who-knows-how. Hence the three of them were glued together for a billion year because Yomi was shaking his booty so hard that neither of the Gaias could manage to cast a spell to free themselves.

-"Smooth… move… DG…" said Light Gaia.

-"Hey… don't… blame… me! It's… all… that… stupid… bat's… fault…"

-"Hey… don't… insult… me! You're… the… one… who… shot… that… bolt!"

And the argument went on for a billion years…