Turruhnigmuhh By Dais

Chapter Uno: Zee Death
*
(The intro)
Narrator: The earth possessed two souls...yada yada....
*
Narrator:...and so Light Gaia...
?: Ohhhfu...
(Perel drops from above, smashing into the scenery and tearing it into prices.)
Narrator: Huh?
Perel: Owwww.....(Looks up) Freakin' bat....
Narrator: Hey! What did you do that for?
Perel:Uhh...do what?
(Explosion, smoke, lights, big SHABOOMF!, and Light Gaia pops in shaving cream on face)
LG: WHAT IS GOING ON?
Perel: Eeep!
Narrator: Uhhh....wasn't me.....
LG: THOU SHALT DIE!
Perel: No! Nonononononononononononoooooooo!
LG: PREPARE THINESELF!
(Another SHABOOMF!, a little flashier. Dark Gaia appears, dressed in a bathrobe. Several bats and mice scutter from it.)
DG: CHILL.
LG: HUH?
Narrator: Dark Gaia? Light Gaia? What the...
(DG waves his hand, overlaying text burns to ashes.)
LG: I COULD'VE HAVE DONE THAT!
DG: WELL, YOU DIDN'T. (Pause) NOW TO MATTERS.
LG: PLEASE, I DON'T BLOODY FEEL LIKE FIGHTING.
DG: NEITHER DO I. I MEANT THE BOY.
Perel:DG: SEE WHAT I MEAN?
Perel: Don't know what you haping the tree about, k-fow.
LG: OH, PLEASE DO.
DG: THANK YOU.
Perel: Now hold on a jipad, erfmas!
DG: SHUT-
(Nuclear explosion rips through Perel, incinerating him instantly. DG looks smug.)
DG: -UP.
LG: I COULD'VE DONE THAT TOO.
DG: YOU DIDN'T.
LG: SO?
(Each Gaia rolls up their sleeves, and proceeds to Put The Righteous Smackª on each other.)
?: Get on with it!
DG: HUH?
(Cherubae drops from above, and hits the two Gaias over the head with a rolled-up newspaper)
Cherubae: BAD!
LG/DG: OWWWWWW..........
Cherubae: Get on with it!
(Gaias stare at each other, then dissapear.)
Cherubae: Hmmph. Simpletons.
(TMNT theme music starts.)
Cherubae: Finally!
(Flies off into, er, blankness...)
Cherubae: For the sake of FOGU!
Dais: For cryin' outloud...oh, hey.
(Narrator begins to speak again.)
Narrator: Who is this mysterious Cherubae, this masked adventurer?
Dais: Oh, shut up.
Narrator: Man? Woman? Gogo all over again
Dais: SHUT UP!
Narrator: Not that it matters, of course....But what mysteries could...
Dais: PYRO RING!!!!!!
Narrator: Crud! Uh....CHAPTER 1: THEaaaaggghhhhh!!!!
*
Game starts.....
*
Elle: Wake up.
Elle: Wake up.
Elle: Wake up.
Elle: Wake up.
Ark: Sssssss.....nuh....ss...SNIRK!...ss....uh.....sss...
Elle: Wake up.
Elle: WAKE THE F*** UP!
Ark: AAAAH!
Elle: Thank you.
Ark: Uh...er...good...er..morning?
Elle: Noon.
Ark: Dammit.
Elle: Subtle greeting after waking which belies the beginning of the deeper feeling I harbor for you which will grow throughtout our seperation in your adventure, even thought is will be long and hard.
Ark: Huh?
Elle: However, expression of distaste which does not lower my opinion of you, concerning previous actiosn taken which were negotiably unproductive in a way that helps the community and it's inhabitants. Thought seemingly by all previous notions not in character, a request for an apology on your part is asked and is vital that you succeed in this properly to Ark: Yeah, what I thought.
Elle: OK. Bye!
(Elle opens an interdimensional portal, which instantly takes her to a chair in the weavers house.)
Ark: Damn, I wish I could do that....Might as well get up.
(Gets up. Proceeds to run around the house, slamming into things and throwing pots.)
Person: Non-informative text.
Ark: And how are you?
Person 2: Non-informative text.
Ark: Oh. Nice.
Person 3: Non-informative text.
Ark: I wasn't talking to you.
Person 4: Hey, let's talk.
Ark: Person 4: That door over there is so strange.
Ark: Why's the door blue?
Person 4: The Elder says we should never open it.
Ark: Why do we all live in the Elder's house?
Person 4: He says it only holds brooms.
Ark: Of course, the Elder's the guy who sits around chanting all day.
Person 4: We can't open the door at all. It's strange.
Ark: Is this going anywhere?
Person 4: Hey, let's talk.
Ark: Thought so.
*
Ark: Da da da...
Pumpkin: Are you getting in trouble again?
Ark: WHAT THE F-
Pumpkin: Are you-
(Ark picks up the pumpkin and flings it away. It hits the Fishing Guyª, and he falls into the river.)
Ark: Cool.
*
Ark: Hmmm...
Weaver: Of course I'll forgive you.
Ark: Thank yew.
Elle: Ark, you need to find another hobby. One that doesn't bother her.
Ark: All I did was chase some chickens.
Elle: Before that you beat her...
Ark: Accident.
Elle: Then you killed her first born...
Ark: Accident.